Letter to Kayla (1st year post)

I started writing this right around the time she was one, then got distracted and just finished it... and thought I'd share. 

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Dear Kayla,

Last year, we thought you were never going to make your debut. Last week, you turned one! One! Really? Where did the last year go? It’s hard for me to remember you as a baby baby.

You’re still a baby, though now technically a toddler… it’s the early days I have a hard time remembering. When I think of you, when I look at you, I see my little girl growing up. I see my girl walking towards me with a big smile on her face, so proud of your new accomplishment.

With that beauty staring me in the face it’s hard to think back to when you were just days old (when you were hours old, things are a big ole blur so we won’t even go that far back). It’s hard to remember just how small you were, just how softly you cried (though we thought it was the loudest thing we had ever heard), just how helpless you were.

But it’s all true. You know what I do remember? I remember the nurses forcing you to nurse in the hospital, I remember wanting to kiss every inch of you – even your feet and I hate feet, I remember your daddy watching so closely over you those first few days, but not waking up when you were screaming at night and I couldn’t fix the problem because I didn’t know the problem.

 I remember both of us trying so hard to swaddle you, which turned out to be a lot harder than we anticipated. Flash forward a few weeks when you’re 1sts started happening – when you started smiling, rolling over, grabbing at your toys, laughing. We try so hard to make you laugh.

Ever since you started we never wanted you to stop. Even now we do silly things to hear your laugh – we put things on our head, we tickle you, we do silly dances and make silly noises, all in an effort to ensure that you are a happy, laughing girl. And you so are. You’re a very happy girl, though you are very possessive and stubborn. No taking things away from you, even if you shouldn’t have them, no doing something you don’t want to do or stopping something that you’re doing – you’re very good at throwing a fit. But despite the fits, the laughter shines through. Often we can get you to laugh even in the middle of crying – that’s when we know you are faking it. Oh, and you’re very good at faking it. But we’re learning…we don’t fall for it anymore. :)


In the last year we’ve learned that you are a very determined and thoughtful girl. When you learn a new skill you’re hesitant at first, trying it only a little at first before you’re willing to really start working at it.

But once you make your mind up that you can indeed do “it”, whatever “it” is, you work so hard at it and you don’t give up. Right now that new skill is walking. You attempted it one day, but didn’t try again for several weeks. Then you decided it was pretty cool and tried it a little more each day, and now finally it’s your chosen mode of transportation. You still fall down a lot, and it’s probably still faster to crawl, but you keep trying. You get right back up and you try again. You don’t cry very much, unless you fall repeatedly without making it even 2 feet forward, you just keep getting back up. And once you’ve got the hang of whatever new skill it is, you are so incredibly proud of yourself. And why shouldn’t you be? You learned something new, you worked hard at it, and you didn’t give up. We are always proud of you but being proud of yourself is a good characteristic to have, it’ll make you want to succeed, it’ll make you want to keep trying, to keep learning because you enjoy it and you enjoy the results.


You are eager to learn, to explore. Always reaching out to find something new to hold on to or put in your mouth. I’m sure that’s probably applicable to most toddlers but I just cannot imagine that most of them do it as consistently as you do. You are always looking for something new. You don’t care what it is – dirt, mud, an old cheerio, a tomato, a book, a berry – anything you see you want to hold it. Maybe you just like things in your hands, but I think it’s more than that. I think it’s your way of learning about the world around you. Reach out and grab it, examine it, and if you like it, never let it go. Oh, that last one is a major part of it. If you find something you like you do not let go of it. Today you carried around 2 things, interchangeably – a pen and a packet of hot sauce from Taco Bell. And you chewed on both of those and kept a vice grip on them for the better part of the day.


You are also a very sweet girl – you love to give kisses and hugs not only to us but to your “friends”.

I put that in quotes because at this point you like everyone, your friends are the children of the people I hang out with the most. Though you’ve been known to hug kids who you’ve never seen before. You are just a friendly girl. I have to say though that you gravitate towards guys and boys – starting a little young I think but hey, to each her own.

I want to say you are very unique but that’s probably not true. I talk to other mom’s and they are having similar experiences with their kids. But you are definitely you. In the coming months and years you’ll become more independent, probably more stubborn, more beautiful both inside and out, and will reveal more of yourself to us and I cannot wait. I hope that as your mom I can teach you the things you need to know, like how to give really good hugs and rely on yourself and trust others and how to bake chocolate chip cookies (your dad’s favorite). I’m looking forward to slumber parties and tea parties and trips to the apple orchards and to the zoo but most of all I’m looking forward to getting to know you. I love you baby, I always will!


Katie